Tuesday, January 26, 2016

one foot in and one foot back

I went back to Florida this month.

Nearly two years I've been away, and coming up on three since I actually lived there, in the creamy golden twilight of Sebring.

I am glad that the first return visit was over, and the torrential emotions that came with it. Still, it was hard to be back, but not fully; to know that I only had a week to step back into the many relationships I formed there made it that much harder to jump in with both feet and set myself up for the inevitable pain of yet another goodbye.

But I did, as best I could... and as always, it was worth it.

I didn't know when I first moved to Florida three years ago that my sense of what is home would change so much. It's like my concept of a perfect home, that idealistic place I thought I had achieved as a child, completely shattered when I left it - and all the broken pieces were thrown to the four winds, never to be reassembled fully this side of heaven.

At first there was only pain, and I hated it. But it has become a part of me now, and in some ways, I like it. Whether I'm in Olympia or Goldendale or Martinsburg or Sebring, there is a constant pricking in my heart that I have grown to welcome - a reminder that I am only a visitor in a foreign land, waiting to be called back to my true native country.

And even while I wait here on earth, my heart is fuller. My circle is bigger. My support system is stronger. My God is greater.


  1. love the pictures! you are so talented!
    Ellie R.

  2. Gorgeous photography! Home truly is where the heart is! :)

    Allie D.

  3. Hallie, I love these photos! I especially like the ones of the trees. There's something magical about them. I can tell this is a nostalgic, old place for you. I moved for the first time a couple of years ago and for the first year or so it was incredibly depressing. I felt like I was away from home all the time. Constant homesickness. And I hadn't even moved to another state! Simply 50 miles from where my parents lived. Still, I wanted to go back...not just to my parents' house, but back to the way things were, to when everything felt normal and I knew who I was.

    It's funny how ultimately we all crave forever. We all have this innate sense that things are not supposed to end, people are not supposed to die, relationships are not meant to be broken, and home is not temporary. But everything in this life is temporary, a painful and beautiful reminder of that eternal home and rest with our Heavenly father. :)

    Thanks for sharing your sincere thoughts Hallie.

    Dani xoxo
    a vapor in the wind

  4. This says it perfectly. Home. This struck a chord with me. Blessings.



Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...