Six months ago—February 22, 2014—I got to marry the best and truest man I’ve ever had the privilege of knowing.
I was told a lot of things before I got married. Some said it was going to be the best, most beautiful experience of my life; others suggested it would be a disappointment, a kind of living death that would leave me with regrets. The feminist culture of our society and the media were not on my side. I went into it with much trepidation, but even more faith—knowing without doubt that God had a plan for the two lives that Sam and I were about to make into one.
Six months isn’t a long time compared to “till death do us part,” and I suppose a lot of people will wave off my words here by labeling them part of the “honeymoon phase,” but even so I’ve learned a thousand things about marriage and about life since then. The first and most important: feminist culture, the media, and anyone who has been influenced by them to think that marriage is a form of prison is wrong.
I love being married. I love the man I married. I love that I get to see him every day and have a slumber party with him every night. I love when he’s sitting on the couch doing bills or something while I work in another part of the house—because I love just knowing that he’s there. I love our conversations about politics, theology, and world events. I love it when he loves what I make for dinner. I love our “dates” to the Costco food court and our walks through the neighborhood and our times together in prayer.
I love that I am living out one of God’s greatest gifts to His children—the opportunity to model a miniature replica of His relationship with us.
It’s hard sometimes. I can be difficult and so can he. Living in a completely new area where I don’t have many friends yet can be lonely (especially as an introvert). Sometimes I really feel like I have no idea what I’m doing, and maybe it’s true—but I never lose faith that God does.
To the unmarried who might be reading this: Marriage is beautiful, and so much fun that you sometimes feel almost naughty! But never count on a spouse to fill the preexisting gaps of your heart. Marriage won’t automatically relieve you of your loneliness, cure you of your self-pity, or fill the hole that belongs only to God.
To the newlyweds: It’s okay to be lonely and sad sometimes. Many, many people will look at you and assume that your life problems have been solved because you found The One, but you and I know that’s not true. Maybe you had to readjust to a new place or maybe you’re just trying to feel out your new role in your old friendships—either way, marriage brings change and change brings a lot of difficult emotions with it. You don’t have to be happy all the time.
To the long-married: Have patience with we who are breaking this ground for the first time. Remember what it was like in those early days for you. If it was all sunshine and roses, I’m very impressed and you should comment your secret below… but I rather doubt it, because two unrefined sinners living in close quarters is bound to raise storms eventually! So if you see us in tears now and then, don’t worry; we aren’t having second thoughts about our marriage, we’re only pulling through some of the hard things that came with it. And meanwhile—teach us by example! We have a lot to learn. :)
Happy six months to my beloved husband and best friend! And here’s to sixty+ more years.
P.S. I will post more wedding pictures soon—I’m still waiting on my digital files to arrive in the mail from George Street Photo & Video (long story on why they’ve taken so long…more on that in a future post).