grace, weekly // 3

 

i. cold, blustery days when the sun pours through dense cloud banks like melted butter and the fields are coming alive with tender shoots of winter wheat.

ii. tools like Penzu and Week Plan.

I love being organized. There is nothing like checking things off my to-do list!

iii. tiny droplets of color in a world turning gray.

iv. my home in the fall.

I missed it last year.

v. awesome people like Teresa of the Meadowbrook Farm blog, who gave her time and breathtaking talent to do engagement pictures for me and Sam this weekend.

(Obviously I did not take any of the below pictures… they’re all Teresa’s. Go see some more. You’ll be hooked!)

vi. music:

Favorite line: “I’ve never felt more found than when I’m lost in You.”

vii. words:

“I realized that the deepest spiritual lessons are not learned by His letting us have our way in the end, but by His making us wait, bearing with us in love and patience until we are able to honestly pray what He taught His disciples to pray: Thy will be done.”
-Elisabeth Elliot

viii. Bible:

I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.
Philippians 4:12-13

The latter verse is one of the most-quoted in the Bible—a favorite motto among every set of Christians. Who doesn’t like some supernatural strength? But as I was reading this passage in my Bible, a deep theological truth occurred to me: Philippians 4:13 comes immediately after Philippians 4:12.

Elementary? Perhaps. But fundamental? Absolutely.

This passage doesn’t give us license to say “I can jump off the edge of the Grand Canyon and promptly sprout wings because Christ strengthens me.” Or even, “I can become a world-famous photographer within the next two years because Christ strengthens me.” Both of those put the focus on me—what I can achieve, what I can accomplish, how I can get the esteem of others and the satisfaction of my temporal desires.

The real message of the passage is this: “I can joyfully accept whatever life circumstances God chooses for me, because I know that my life is not about me—it’s about Jesus.”

The secret of contentment is Christ.

 

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fall

 

I saw it today.

It was in the sharp, fresh scent of the arid-Washington rain that splashed the dry brown world with watercolor hues. It was in the sweet tang of rainwashed blackberries as they painted my fingers and tongue wine-red; it left its mark in the death sentence of the old spruce tree that was split in a perfect spiral by last night’s lightning strike. Then I found it in the scattering of yellow polka dots across our yard—in the earthy scent of newly dug potatoes going into storage for the winter—in the blinding crystal-white of fresh snow on the tip of Mt. Adams.

I went to a football game last night. I pulled out my boots and my coat for the first time since who knows when. I wrapped myself up in a blanket and ate popcorn.

Yes… fall is definitely coming. :)

the evolution of a thunderstorm

It was the kind of storm you could literally watch racing across the sky toward you. First billowy white thunderheads, then their dark blue undersides; a deafening stillness and then a mighty wind. Dust thickened the air. Leaves swirled. The sky darkened like twilight. The flashes and rumbles began, followed by the fresh scent of summer rain.
This is one of my favorite scenes on the dry Eastern Washington plains.

i will not be shaken

 

It was a long week at camp. I was tired and cranky and short on patience at times, and my cabin of girls this week was a lot harder to handle than my past two cabins had been. But even in the midst of discouragement and struggle, every day had a few oases of rest in the wonder of God. Misty morning runs and stretches with my favorite running buddy, Erin; a precious few minutes with just my Bible and my God before the wakeup bell; and the chorus of a hundred campers excited to worship the Lord in chapel were a few of the things that kept me going and reminded me why I was there. Again and again, I was awed by the sheer magnitude of the God I serve. He doesn’t just use me on my good days; He uses me on my bad days, too—not because He needs to, but because He wants to. I can’t help but revel in that unparalleled grace and mercy and love.

 My soul, wait in silence for God only,
For my hope is from Him.
He only is my rock and my salvation,
My stronghold; I shall not be shaken.
On God my salvation and my glory rest;
The rock of my strength, my refuge is in God.
Trust in Him at all times, O people;
Pour out your heart before Him;
God is a refuge for us. Selah.
Psalm 62:5-8

the rambling thoughts of a rainy day

 

I see the world through a 50mm frame, with my mind opened to f/1.8; every blink stores away a moment, a memory. I live so fully immersed in contemplation that I often feel as if I’m in another universe. I see stories walking down the street and poetry written in faces. I am inspired by words rich with meaning that I can physically sense, like evanescence or wanderlust or home. I dream a lot (always in color!), think a lot, listen a lot, speak a little. I prefer melancholy music with raw, real-life lyrics. I fear too much and confide too little. And rain—steady, gray, contemplative rain—is my favorite.

Less than nine months ago, I sat in an airbus A320 as it ascended over the Cascade Mountain Range, leaving my beautiful Washington State behind for Florida. I cried for every goodbye. I didn’t know if my heart would ever stop hurting from homesickness.

Now I stand before another major change. Again, I will cry for every goodbye. In August, I left my biological family; in less than a month, I’ll be leaving a huge adoptive family that I dearly love. That nagging ache of homesickness will come back. But if I’ve learned anything from moving 3,000 miles away from everyone I knew to a world of complete strangers, it’s this: God’s plan is perfect, and if I surrender to it, He can do more through the changes (uncomfortable as they are) than I can possibly imagine. And this time, I’ll be facing it with the right weapons: thorough knowledge of the content and practical application of the inspired Word of my Lord.

not all those who wander are lost

 

You know someone is awesome when they’re willing to get all dressed up and do creative poses in a public place just for the sake of photographic storytelling (and then get rained on). I love how this shoot came out, and all the credit goes to Tori, my model, for the idea and theme (and of course just being beautiful). She’s pretty cool. :)

(And since no photo shoot is complete without a couple of blooper moments for comic relief…)