Shouldn’t it be easier after three years? Shouldn’t I be used to it by now? But I feel less used to it than ever. When I flew home from Pennsylvania two weeks ago, I expected him to be here to greet me like he always used to be… but he wasn’t, and it felt wrong, even after three years without him.
I barely even have to think about that day before I am in tears again. It was like a miserable nightmare, except that it really happened. And I remember it so vividly.
There are times when I feel stupid for mourning like this about a cat. But I don’t cry for a cat—I cry for a lifelong friend, and for the gaping hole of loneliness that he left behind.
Oh, Lenny.
this is sweet. and it isn't stupid.
ReplyDeleteThings like this don't really ever heal all the way. YOU always feel the ache and lonesome for them.
I thought this was about Sam.... But, on the bright side, I'm starting to like kittens! (break through, how about it?)
ReplyDeleteLove you!
I still feel sad for Lenny too. I think he was the best cat we ever had, and there is no replacement for him.
ReplyDeleteAw, so sorry! I know what it's like to lose a kitty you love and understand your pain. <3
ReplyDeleteKelsey