quiet, quiet

 

Listen to this song.

My life up until Tuesday was the first 23 seconds of that song. Constant rushing and noise, never a pause to stop and think or stop and listen. I figured being a full-time Bible student meant somehow that my communication line with God was open—after all, I spend at least 20 hours a week solely in His Word, and another several doing ministry. So I continued to pack my schedule with activities, and the one Person who never got an appointment was God.

Then 0:24 happened. Everything came to a screeching halt and somewhere through the teeth-gritting pain I heard Him saying, “Quiet, quiet.” Now I’m in a splint and on crutches for the next several weeks, and my life by necessity has significantly slowed down—and I can finally hear Him. This is the definition of blessing. Not that God gave me something I’ve had on my Christmas list, but that God gave me something that is drawing me back to my relationship with Him.

hannah elizabeth

 

They who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night.
~Edgar Allan Poe, “Eleonora”

In my daydream, I saw a lush, somewhat exotic-looking forest, with golden afternoon sunlight pouring down between the leaves. I saw a girl in a white dress moving nymph-like through the scene. I saw exactly how my camera would pick up the light, and how my aperture would form the bokeh. I dreamed these images up weeks ago, and somehow, my vision became a reality. That is a good feeling. Thanks Hannah!

hannah elizabeth: preview

 

I’d like to introduce you to Hannah.

This is my roommate. She’s a little bit of sugar and a whole lot of spice; a splash of bright, colorful energy in my sometimes-too-introverted life. She rocks cute-and-comfy-with-a-pop-of-color. She listens to all my sometimes-disconnected patterns of thinking, nodding or smiling or agreeing or rolling her eyes or scolding at the appropriate times. She makes me laugh at myself and smile at the future. She’s a beautiful person and a measureless blessing in my life… And she lets me take pictures of her.

I had so much fun doing Hannah’s photo shoot. If you enjoy looking at the results half as much as I enjoyed creating them, I’ll be immensely happy. :)

lately

 

Lately I’ve been tired.

More than normal tiredness. I’m tired deep in the core of my bones somehow. That kind of tired you used to get when you were an inexhaustible little kid building snowmen all day long in the dead of winter, or galloping around on all fours in the yard during the summer. The kind of tired that used to come when the bottoms of your feet were black with dirt, your knees were stained green by the grass, and your whole body was so dusty that it turned the bathwater a murky gray. Do you remember that?

It’s the tired that comes when you work hard, play hard, and sleep hard. Tiredness of muscles and bones, of brain and senses, of spirit and soul. I’m always going, doing, socializing, talking, studying, working, exercising, thinking, praying. The days go by so quickly that they blur and merge. February is one-third gone before I am even able to pause long enough to say hello. March, April, and half of May are all that stand between me and the end of this year of Bible school—and they will fly.

But my schedule is too full to give me time to think about the end and the goodbyes, which is probably a good thing. It forces me to live one moment at a time. There is so much rushing that there is no rushing at all; so much crammed into every day that I have no time to look forward to the next thing on my list. And while it is exhausting, it’s also exciting. In an instant every moment becomes a memory, and I am working hard to make them worth remembering.

God has been so good to me.