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It’s that feeling you get when you’re finishing up a journal. Its pages are well-loved and familiar, penned in various colors of ink. Each day’s handwriting offers telltale signs to what kind of day it was: hard, messy scratch for frustrating ones; clean, pert lines for productive ones; words nearly tumbling off the page on the days when you were down with the flu and couldn’t write straight. It’s the last page now, and you remember fondly the day you opened it for the first time, how careful you were to keep it neat and clean. You laugh at such a notion. Life happens; “neat and clean” is well and good, but it’s the precious nuances of your penmanship that you appreciate now, knowing that part of your soul is etched in every word—that a chunk of your life, real life, is recorded in those pages.

Then you open up the new volume. Crisp. Clean. A world of possibilities. You wonder what will fill its pages. Again, you start out slow and painstaking, hoping for a genuinely cleaner story this time; but again, you know real life is messy, and soon the pages will drip with blood, sweat, and tears as well as ink.

That is the feeling of the 11:59pm of New Year’s Eve. It ought to be more momentous, it seems, since a whole calendar year has been filed away into history books; yet it happens quietly, with the tick of a clock, and the explosions of fireworks over the cities seem a bit too cheerful for such a moment of melancholy wonder. The pages ahead—all 365—are blank, white. Your pen is poised. You resolve to take care, but you know—real life is messy, and time will wear them away with both hardship and joy.

There’s a fleeting moment in which you wonder if you should give up the writing. Maybe it would be easier to disengage. But then you are brave, and you set the nib to the sheet. You begin. And you don’t look back.

the year in review // grace weekly, 10

 

It’s been a rather remarkable year. There have been a lot of firsts and a lot of lasts, a lot of beginnings and a lot of ends. There have been a lot of hardships and a lot of joys. Sometimes I just wonder what happened to the uneventful years, when days just passed by with a steady sameness, in which I was perfectly content. But I’m looking forward to the next, whether eventful or otherwise. :)

me. 

I love, love, love my Bible.

I love you.

Marrying this guy on February 22… goshhh I cannot wait.

Still laughing…

This picture is one of my favorites from my trip to Israel in May. Hannah was certain that the other camel was about to bite her in the butt (<<<sorry Suze).

Winter wonderland

It’s been kind of a disappointing winter in terms of snow. This skiff is all we’ve gotten… still waiting for a good flurry, which is typical since we got so much snow last year.

 

Friends

This is one of my favorite people in the whole world. I have innumerable hilarious, ridiculous, difficult, frustrating, sad, and epic memories with her over our brief (so far) friendship. :)

Inspiration

I find a huge percentage of my inspiration in the Word of God, and lately, particularly in the character of Mary—the sister of Martha and Lazarus.

Spring

This is what my spring looked like this year—deep in the woods of central Florida, there are scatterings of orange and grapefruit trees. The best grapefruit I ever tasted came from one of them.

Travel

My first (non-Canada) international adventure was to the beautiful country of Israel. We flew into Tel Aviv on May 16, and traveled from there to Golan, through Galilee, down to the Negev, and then to Jerusalem; finally we flew back out of Tel Aviv to the States on May 28. What an incredible trip it was… I would so love to go back!

Summer

When I got home to Washington on July 22, this was one of my favorite sights.

A day in my life

Days in my life have little common thread anymore—this “in between”/wilderness stage has been somewhat difficult in that regard. So I’m going for something a little bit obvious; these two beautiful creatures daily greet me for breakfast, dinner, or rides, depending on the day. I love them. :)

Smiles

This picture makes me smile. Especially thinking of my little sister’s hilarious quips and comments about my husband-to-be—the latest being, “Sam, I don’t think I’ll ever like any of my boyfriends as much as I like you.”

Autumn

I got to fulfill a bucket list item this fall and spend a couple of weeks in the Northeast—visiting my dear Pennsylvania family in Martinsburg. Its colors did not disappoint!

Family

Not just one, but two—and I’m so blessed to be getting in-laws I love just as much as my blood family. :)

Celebrate!

One of my dearest accomplishments of 2013 was my graduation from Great Commission Bible Institute in Sebring, Florida. It was incredible to watch God work over the course of a year that was sometimes incredibly difficult, and to find my heart changing and reshaping under the precise tool of the Word. (And my oldest brother is awesome—he was thinking of me that day while climbing to the top of 11,250-foot Mt. Hood in Oregon!)

Let’s do it again

One day in February, one of my favorite Floridian families took myself and some classmates to Old Town, an amusement park near Orlando. After a lot of persuasion, I was prevailed upon to ride the Slingshot—which is exactly what it sounds like: a machine that vaults you hundreds of feet up into the air on cables. It was terrifyingly incredible, and I’d like to try it again. :)

I miss you

My GCBI family… I miss them so much. Pastor Aaron, I miss your wise and often hilarious (but painful) counsel. Gabe, I miss your ridiculous voice impressions. Luis, I miss your consistent passion for the Word. Riley, I miss you riling up Hannah. David, I do NOT miss your creepy facial expressions. Cody, I miss your teasing. Kirsten, I miss your kindness. Ethan, I miss hearing, “Hello, British!” Morgan, I miss your encouragement. Clinton, I miss harassing you to do your homework. Ashley, I miss your hugs. Scott, I miss your weirdness. Colin, I miss your fun and silliness. Tori, I miss your insights. Aaron, I miss your obnoxiousness. Larissa, I miss your smile. And Hannah, I miss “Hello? Hello…” :)

Beautiful

I love this place.

Dress up

I got to be the primary photographer at a wedding for the first time!

Macro

I’ve discovered a new interest in macro photography since I got a 70mm 1:1 macro lens for my Sony A700. With the use of an external flash I’ve been able to do some fun things with the wedding rings!

On holiday

I spent my spring break visiting Martinsburg, Pennsylvania for the first time—and liked it so much, I lived there for six weeks and visited again for two more!

Favorite memory

Getting baptized in the Sea of Galilee was an amazing experience, and even better because it was done by my teacher Pastor Randy with almost my whole GCBI class as witnesses. :)

Don’t ever change

Teaching my little sister how to ride under the watchful eye of Mt. Adams… I hate to think that time has to pass and this season can’t last forever.

Just because

I can’t do an accurate record of 2013 without giving some attention to three significant summer events: counseling at Camp Mantowagan for five weeks, visiting the West Kensington neighborhood of Philadelphia, and seeing the 150th reenactment of Gettysburg and the Gettysburg battlefield itself.

Hopes and dreams

It’s funny, because I never gave a ton of thought to weddings and marriage until the very day that I got engaged. I wasn’t one of those girls who had chosen colors and styles and catering when she was twelve. Even now, wedding planning hasn’t been my favorite thing—eloping seems like a better idea, in retrospect—but I do appreciate the anticipation, the wonder of stepping out into something new, gaining a new name, a new family, and a new life. :)

grace, weekly // 9

 

i. beginning to look a lot like Christmas.

ii. fluffy orange kitties that like to sleep in my lap.

iii. a whole seven weeks at home, unbroken—the longest stretch since before I moved to Florida in August 2012.

iv. learning 1:1 macro photography.

v. Oma.

I might have met her two or three times, but only actually talked to her once—almost eighteen months ago. The July sun baked the bricks of her house the color of rust, and her flowers craned their necks toward the blue sky. Pork chops, the best I’ve ever tasted, we consumed in embarrassing quantities; butter, blocks and blocks of it, we saw stacked in towers inside her fridge. There were loaves of thick-crusted bread, and napkins folded fancy at each setting. Pictures on the walls invited a glimpse into another time, and knickknacks on the shelves hid tantalizing stories of her visits to foreign lands. I could have listened to her thick German accent for hours.

I went to her memorial service this weekend. I could not mourn her death, because I knew how thrilled she was to go to Jesus after 91 years on this earth. But I did mourn that I had known her so little—that unlike her grandchildren and the kids that grew up in her neighborhood, I had missed a whole childhood, a whole lifetime, of knowing Oma.

vi. words:

This is usually my favorite method of healing.

vii. music:

I know I already posted the Piano Guys’ version of this song… but it’s my number-one favorite Christmas carol, especially on piano and strings.

viii. Bible:

In the beginning was the Word,
and the Word was with God,
and the Word was God.
He was in the beginning with God.
All things came into being through Him,
and apart from Him nothing came into being
that has come into being.
In Him was life,
and the life was the Light of men.
The Light shines in the darkness,
and the darkness did not comprehend it. . . .
There was the true Light which,
coming into the world,
enlightens every man.
He was in the world,
and the world was made through Him,
and the world did not know Him.
He came to His own,
and those who were His own did not receive Him.
But as many as received Him,
to them He gave the right to become children of God,
even to those who believe in His name,
who were born, not of blood
nor of the will of the flesh nor of the will of man,
but of God.
And the Word became flesh,
and dwelt among us, and we saw His glory,
glory as of the only begotten from the Father,
full of grace and truth.

John 1:1-5, 9-14

Jesus. Eternal, pre-existing the entire physical and metaphysical worlds. Jesus. Equal to and one with (yet separate from) the God of Israel. Jesus. Creator of everything that exists. Jesus. The source of life. Jesus. A light of truth that penetrates into the darkness of sin. Jesus. The only Savior of His people Israel, yet rejected by them. Jesus. The one who welcomes with open arms anyone who chooses to follow Him. Jesus. The pathway to the Father. Jesus. Our brother who has agreed to share His inheritance with us, though we did nothing to earn it. Jesus. Fully man. Jesus. Fully God. Jesus. To Him be the glory.

Do not forget: Jesus is not just a baby that gives us the excuse to eat a lot of cookies and open a lot of presents. Jesus is truth embodied in the form of a man—grace captured in one selfless heart. Jesus was born, certainly. But Jesus also lived, died, and rose again. Don’t forget the rest of the story. (Hint: you can find it in the book of John.)